new costumers tended to look at him wearily.

The week my father died, a young man came into the Brazilian record shop I was manning for my friend and owner. 

He was the only patron in the store who spoke to our regular unhoused friend like he wasn’t a pariah (Hippie Lou was a fixture in the store and all regulars adored him but new costumers tended to look at him wearily). He smiled at Hippie Lou big and wide, the best smile I had ever seen and they talked for a while. 

I knew then that he was one of the best humans I would ever meet. 

I was right. He is the bestest partner I could have hoped for (thanks for the parting gift, dad!)

And obviously, he is also the bestest dad to L and R.

I’ve learnt so much about holding space for others while making sure to take care of yourself as well from you. It’s truly a skill that is beautiful to watch. 

L and R simply adore you, your games, your songs, your stories. 

As I told you so awkwardly this morning, “I am so darn lucky that you are the dad I get to be a mom with”. I don’t even know what that word soup means but if anyone gets it (you, me, us) is YOU.

Happy Father’s Day, love.

artist in residence

i am writing to ask you to consider offering me - or someone like me - an artist’s residency, consisting of room and perhaps board for a fixed period of time.

perhaps you know of an artist for which such an opportunity would be a welcome surprise, or a potential host for which such an opportunity would be a welcome adventure.  

opening up one’s home is not for the faint of heart.  i can say for the recipient of such hospitality there can be no greater gift.  for the host, the benefits are less obvious, but under favorable conditions will certainly emerge.

in my experience, the benefits to the host have been as diverse as the group of people i have had the good fortune to be “in residence” with.  the beauty, and perhaps the thrill, of such an arrangement is that the benefits are never known in advance, and, on occasion, not even in hindsight.

i have slept on floors, in beds, and on sofas.  i have eaten out of cupboards, refrigerators, dined at my host’s table, or eaten elsewhere as a guest of others.  at my host’s behest, i have stayed for days, for weeks, and sometimes for months.  i have accepted meager alms with which i could afford daily entry at the local coffee house.

my point is that a residency is amenable to a wide variety of arrangements, with suitability to and consideration of the host of paramount concern.

someone once described me as an artist whose medium is the energy of life.  i liked that description.

i have a special affinity for people who feel some discomfort with their life and the world they live in, and are unwilling or unable to ignore that discomfort.  they seek to understand it, and if possible, to remedy it.  they may not be sure where to start or how to go about it.  they are, however, determined in their quest.

or, having perhaps discovered a better fitting, more hospitable and healthier way of being in the world, they are developing a life and a way of living in which they and others can flourish.

i was and am such a person.

shall we talk?

with kind regards and love always, hippie lou

i had a blast yesterday and look forward to future rendezvouses(?) with you.  time stood still and yet it flew by at the same time.  what magic!

good Afternoon.

Sir, Happy complication of your fasting. 

May this day brings the brightest of colours of love, laughter and happiness in your life. Here's wishing you and your family, Eid Mubarak! May the Lord Almighty blesses you with the gift of kindness, patience and love. Have a wonderful Eid!

love the fact that reading what you wrote in times past leaves you wondering who you were, relative to who you are today.

it’s one of my favorite dances, who we were relative to who we are.

It was SO good to see you this week! You are helpful to me, I hope you know that. You keep my heart open while I'm at work and I remember myself.

It's sweet of you to try to get me to see the positive side. Didn't mean to criticize you.

What a great email! I could feel your ebullience while reading it. How lovely, I’m so glad you shared with me. It’s a whirlwind of good energy. Thank you.

How are you? you sound fabulous. I don’t really want to comment in detail on what you shared…except to say it was joyous and lifted my heart. you are very grounded…and so your positivity (and I’m sure your negativity) feels wholesome to me, something I could just breathe into and savor. That’s just sweet.

the coffee shop conversation

VINCENT
 Good for you. Lighten up a little.
 You been sittin' there all quiet.

 JULES
 I just been sittin' here thinkin'.

 VINCENT
 (mouthful of food)
 About what?

 JULES
 The miracle we witnessed.

 VINCENT
 The miracle you witnessed. I
 witnessed a freak occurrence.

 JULES
 Do you know what a miracle is?

 VINCENT
 An act of God.

 JULES
 What's an act of God?

 VINCENT
 I guess it's when God makes the
 impossible possible. And I'm sorry
 Jules, but I don't think what
 happened this morning qualifies.

 JULES
 Don't you see, Vince, that shit
 don't matter. You're judging this
 thing the wrong way. It's not
 about that. It could be God
 stopped the bullets, he changed
 Coke into Pepsi, he found my
 fuckin' car keys. You don't judge
 shit like this based on merit.
 Whether or not what we experienced
 was an according-to-Hoyle miracle
 is insignificant. What is
 significant is I felt God's touch,
 God got involved.

 VINCENT
 But why?

 JULES
 That's what's fuckin' wit' me! I
 don't know why. But I can't go
 back to sleep.

 VINCENT
 So you're serious, you're really
 gonna quit?

 JULES
 The life, most definitely.

 Vincent takes a bite of food. Jules takes a sip of coffee

 In the b.g., we see a PATRON call the Waitress.
 PATRON
 Garcon! Coffee!

 VINCENT
 So if you're quitting the life,
 what'll you do?

 JULES
 That's what I've been sitting here
 contemplating. First, I'm gonna
 deliver this case to Marsellus.
 Then, basically, I'm gonna walk the
 earth.

 VINCENT
 What do you mean, walk the earth?

 JULES
 You know, like Caine in "KUNG FU."
 Just walk from town to town, meet
 people, get in adventures.

 VINCENT
 How long do you intend to walk the
 earth?

 JULES
 Until God puts me where he want me
 to be.

 VINCENT
 What if he never does?

 JULES
 If it takes forever, I'll walk
 forever.

 VINCENT
 So you decided to be a bum?

 JULES
 I'll just be Jules, Vincent -- no
 more, no less.

 VINCENT
 No Jules, you're gonna be like
 those pieces of shit out there who
 beg for change. They walk around
 like a bunch of fuckin' zombies,
 they sleep in garbage bins, they
 eat what I throw away, and dogs
 piss on 'em. They got a word for
 'em, they're called bums. And
 without a job, residence, or legal
 tender, that's what you're gonna be
 -- a fuckin' bum!

 JULES
 Look my friend, this is just where
 me and you differ --

 VINCENT
 -- what happened was peculiar -- no
 doubt about it -- but it wasn't
 water into wine.

 JULES
 All shapes and sizes, Vince.

 VINCENT
 Stop fuckin' talkin' like that!

 JULES
 If you find my answers frightening,
 Vincent, you should cease askin'
 scary questions.

 VINCENT
 When did you make this decision --
 while you were sitting there eatin'
 your muffin?

 JULES
 Yeah. I was just sitting here
 drinking my coffee, eating my
 muffin, playin' the incident in my
 head, when I had what alcoholics
 refer to as a "moment of clarity."

 VINCENT
 I gotta take a shit. To be
 continued.

contact me whenever you want, of course.

Dear hippie Lou. again, it was a pleasure to have you over and with that in mind I just wanted to let you know what my schedule is for the upcoming in case you might want to come have lunch or dinner. I don't know if you've seen the documentary on the grateful Dead oh, I forget the name of it. But I think it would be something really fun to watch together. I was actually really moved and pleased the first time I saw it so I want to see it again and have it on my computer.

Without saying, I'll say it that I hope you are doing well and thriving despite the system being what it is.

What I can say unequivocally is that since we got together my perspective has changed a bit going from more negative to more positive and patience. I really have to learn to slow down because I see that in you and we have such similar histories.

Take Good Care and contact me whenever you want, of course

Peace and love,

i'd like that.

hippie.  i appreciate you.  your kindness.  your brain.  simply you get it.  you get me.  in california i had many friends like you - smart and kind - so i'm working to build more of that into my ny life.  it seems to be happening - another overnight success after nine years of ny life.  again - i know that i am truly blessed - truly fortunate - and that at this time of my life these are very good problems to have.  i appreciate that i can trust you with my secrets of business or sometimes life struggles - it's kind and generous of you to lend me your ear.  i'm going to guadalajara mexico to visit a childhood friend and her fiancee for dia de los muertos as i may have mentioned - but in november i'd be very happy if we might find some all you can eat place for a big holiday meal.  or we just crash our friend's place and she or you or some combo of us cooks or orders out.  i'd like that. 

if you feel inclined to write let me know how you are and what you are thinking about.  i've decided to read some english translations of perssian literature - for the wisdom, escapism and drama.  lol.  what are you reading these days my friend.  love and hugs and happy fall wishes.

currently i have a chickpea and kale soup going.

Hey Hippie Lou,

It's been a while, I though it's time for a shout. You've been on my thoughts and I hope you're well.

Things have been the same for me. Lots of work and cooking on the free time. Currently i have a chickpea and kale soup going.

The open Mic is going well too. we've switched hosts and your old guitar is the house guitar.... I love that guitar so much and have put some work on it. I thought of your spirit and how you'd want this guitar to be shared with others.... So here it is, this guitars 3rd life...

I hope to take it to a shop to have a woodworker give it a good cleaning. and it's frets could use a leveling.

Let me know about the new roads your walking and all the new friends you made, hopefully i can see you some time soon.

With lots of love,

kind of like quetzalcoatl....

Thanks Hippielousssqeaxsqzdsddsaezax!

(That’s your name as it appears in my contacts).  Kind of like Quetzalcoatl....

Thank you for the good wishes,

I’ve been trying to stay in contact and/or make contact with something either inside me or surrounding me. Or both. Your wishes speak exactly to that search. Some success so far I think.

Also I’m getting some rest.

Hop you are well and that all your wishes return doubly to you.

prayer

i pray that i can go inside

and unearth this

and put it on the page

and play with it.

I was having bad dreams about you last night.

what kind of dreams?

You died.

My man, am loving the beard! And of course the general troubador/raconteur vibe. All the best to you. Would love to meet up for coffee next time I’m in town (which I’m guessing will be July).

I'm working. I'm homeless. Living at a drop in center. They take us to church beds at night. I'm supposed to be getting an apartment soon.

I'm raising money for films and investments. Here's the information if you know any millionaire's. The commissions are great! We split 1%.

the concept of spiritual poverty is new to me.

hello hippie lou,

i'm writing to let you know that i am thinking of you, and i hope your days are going the way you'd like them to. (and as you always tell me, if not, that's okay too!)

i am currently in yangon, myanmar. i've been grateful to learn a lot about devotion, spirituality, and kindness through observing the local people here. last night, i prayed and meditated at a buddhist temple, and was impressed at how some locals were praying there for hours, from what i heard.

i've been reflecting on how we could see countries like myanmar, cambodia as "less developed" or poorer materially, but they are such spiritually rich countries. on the other hand, the U.S. and many countries in europe are doing well materially, but there can so much spiritual poverty there.

the concept of spiritual poverty is new to me, and i'm recognizing how a spiritually active self can be important to our wellbeing and sense of purpose in life.

also, i am a month away from visiting new york! i will touch down in nyc on saturday, may 4th, stay through world pride, before beginning another journey in july.

thank you for reading, and i am eager to hear from you, hippie lou! :)

Hippie Lou, I am so excited about this trip! I recognize it’s been too long, and that I am letting my
“hair down” going with male - yes a friend-  regardless a straight male- it feels like I am 18 y/o again.
I thought these feels were long gone...it’s wonderful. Thank you for sitting back and letting the current carry you.

hippie lou - i find that people make the best possible decisions with all of the information and experience they have have at the time that they made the decision.  i also often find that later (days, weeks or years later) these same people have new information - that they didn't have then - and they judge their past decisions through the lens of their knew information - and then have regret in the choice that they made (before they had the new information).  but i also blv that if we could go back in time - knowing what we knew then - that we would make the same choices again and again.  so regret is based on a non reality - because we didn't know then what we know now. 

lastly my dear and treasured friend - after i left you i thought about my mentioning work - and i wondered if i was being selfish while i was thinking that i was being helpful.  i would never want to be a trigger to you having any kind of unwell health. 

thanks for a great and fun evening.  hugs.