Just so you know, I do keep working to fight back.

Thank you David, I appreciate this. Great to see and hear you! Those are 3 of my fav songs, especially 1 and 3. Saw an inspirational doc. about Jimmy about a year ago. I saw him when I was a baby in high school, I didn't get the depth of what he was saying, but enough to know that so much of what I had been taught was not real.

Just so you know, I do keep working to fight back--I am battling with Deloitte and what they are doing to folks who are struggling here in  IL. I'm hoping to get some pro bono legal help. They need to be held accountable.

Seems like you have a great group of folks that you are spending your time with. Very nice. Have a wonderful Christmas with your compas.

three songs, with love. :) xo

angel | fire + rain | wind cries.

closing out 2017 on w. 47th street. [12/15/17]

with kind regards and love always, hippie lou

[to view/listen/experience, click here]

but others have not been so lucky.

Hi hippie Lou-

Thanks for the email!

Last week on Monday night I was evacuated from my house near midnight. The fire was burning on the hill right next to my neighborhood. My house did not burn down, yay! But others have not been  so lucky and the fire is threatening my school and the air quality is horrendous. It’s been a very strange, sometimes terrifying experience.

Thank you fir checking in. It is now safe for me to go home as the fire moves north.

I hope you are well!
xo

i'm always trying to bring
things to life;

and in so doing, to bring
myself to life;

but sometimes
things are dying

it's the very
nature of existence

can i bring myself
to dying?

and
why shouldn't
i feel dying
as much as

i feel living?

between two worlds.

to get to
the next one
you can't carry
too much
from the last.

travelers we
all are.

the eponymous
bee
cannot carry
the flower on
his back

so he carries
what he can
a grain

no need
to unroot
the flower
if even
he could

but to learn
the nature
of the flower
or the flytrap
or the delicate
moss
or the sticky sap

which
when bound
to wings
renders
flight
impossible

is to
carry something
forward too.

as heavy
or impractical
as a flower
on the back of a bee?

perhaps not.

the next world
beckons
as does the
last.

the bee
alights
if he
can.

can one
fortitude
compensate
for seven
solitudes?

as several
atti
tudes
dance
in the
sun soaked
breezes
of our mind
's eye.

still raining
still dreaming

still raining
still dreaming

truly.

getting bigger by the minute.

what if
all the ghosts
of your severed
relationships
got together
in one room?

it would be
a pretty big
room.

a pretty
big ship.

getting bigger
by the minute.

the ship
of ghosts
of
relationships
past.

can
i climb
aboard;
or
watch
from
afar

as they
stand at
the rails
calling out
or not.

their
mouths
moving
but i cannot
hear them.

gosh;
ppl you
were so so close to
so close
that you
could feel
the hot breath
of their
beating
heart-soul
energy
as
you
blew yours
for
that
moment in
time

until the
passing sun
or moon
as the case
may be
intervened
lighting
things
just a
bit differently

or, as
science
tells us,
the sun doesn't move
so perhaps
my motion
my spinning
relative to
other
bodies in
motion
shed new light
new shadows

i love
those ghosts
ghosts
though
they
may be.

i love
that
ghost ship
and i
ride on
many others
i'm sure

at the rail
gazing out
rolling, softly
on the
sometimes
tempestuous
sea.

but sometimes our lungs are weak and tired.

enthusiasm
for life
comes and
goes
i guess

sometimes
each little
moment
glistens
sometimes
not at all

sometimes
moments
one
knows
are
glistening
feel
muted,
dull;

can i hang
on just
one moment
more?

doesn't seem
like it
should be
such a chore

but it is
sometimes

sometimes.

this weird
thing we have

the ability
to animate,
truly.

the ability
to blow
words called
purpose and
meaning

into our
balloon called
life

but sometimes
our lungs
are weak
and tired

and sometimes
the air we
blow is leaden

or the air
the balloon floats
in is thin

like the death zone
on chomolungma

buoyancy has
its limits

in air
that is thin

the flow
over the wedge
creating lift

gets more tenuous;

to try to stay
aloft?

or return to thicker
air?

or just
"hang in there"

drifting
between
0 and 1

working to
find the seam

and once found
or stumbled upon
or bumped into

to let it settle
upon one's self
or spring from within

or meet in
the middle
at the seam
in the grain boundary
for a moment
or moments

whatever the
case might be?

or crash
to earth
burning?

or some other
malapropism?

that is the
question

yes,
that
is the
question

if one cares to ask.

glaciers die, you know. :)

glaciers come
but then they
retreat
leaving lakes
carved depressions
where water
collects

the ice man
cometh
but is
perhaps
in retreat
like george
foreman
falling
no further
punch needed

let the water
collect
let the water
collect
reflecting
sky
and sea
the low
domed hills
capped in green

glaciers die, you know. :)

overnight with a hippie :)

when i was a little kid growing up in bethesda, md.,
i dreamed big.  president of the united states, nobel
prizes and such.  big yachts, like the ones i saw
during my summer visits to the chesapeake bay.

but as it turned out, the architecture of my life was
small.  small moments, shared most often between
two people, serendipitously, in the streets of nyc.

in these moments, i try to bring everything i have;
knowledge, experience, skills or talents, or
other intangible human qualities i might possess;
anything the moment requires, trying to leave out,
of course, anything the moment doesn't.

i try to meet people wherever they are, truly.
and in these moments, many things happen; often
surprising, often unexpected, sometimes useful,
not always pleasant; but hopefully, always real,
always authentic.

this is what i aspire to.  i don't always get there,
but like macy gray, i try.

i knew from the outset that the traditional
practice of seeking money for one's "services"
in this sort of existence was going to be
thoroughly impractical, and, even worse,
downright counterproductive.

imagine a bumblebee negotiating the
terms of landing rights with every flower,
then haggling over the price of each
grain of pollen picked up, each grain
deposited, each drop of nectar sipped.

i thought that if i could live in the
world in a way which didn't require
money for my daily existence, this
dream life of mine would be possible.

i reached out to my community, to those
around me, asking only for a meal or two
every day, and shelter from the elements
at night.

that is the purpose of this missive,
dear reader.

if you, or anyone you know would like
to offer me shelter from the elements
for a night, either now, or sometime in
the future, i would be most appreciative.

i realize this is a very uncommon way
of living; an uncommon thing to ask for,
and a very uncommon thing to share
with another person.

and i want you to know that i feel your
love and support no matter what your
ability or desire is to accommodate or
not accommodate this specific request.

with kind regards and love always,

hippie lou :) xo

Love, peace, and acceptance always.

It was a pleasure meeting you my brother. Thanks for guitar music, ha. Super soothing.

I'm usually at the 230 meeting if you ever find yourself in the area.

Love your energy my brother. Love, peace, and acceptance always.

Email me whenever! I'm glad to hear from you. I'm here brother if you want to catch a meeting or just kick it.

Let's link up soon.

with great gratitude.

Dear friend,

Sometimes we forget, time goes by, things happen too fast, life gets too hectic... and we don´t give thanks to those we love.

I can´t emphasize what a privilege and blessing is to have you in my life.
It´s difficult to express and put into words how much I think about you and miss you.

To say THANK YOU it´s not enough to let you know that I appreciate all you have done and do for me, even now that I am far away geographically, but still so close in heart and mind.

I am not a preacher, hate to sound too holy and say things that might sound corny.
Nevertheless, yesterday I read a passage from the Bible and felt the need to share it with you.
I relate so much to the words, they are pretty much what my life has been thanks to you.

​"I ​know how to live in humble circumstances;
I know also how to live with abundance.
In every circumstance and in all things
I have learned the secret of being well fed and of going hungry,
of living in abundance and of being in need.
I can do all things in him who strengthens me.
​STILL, IT WAS KIND OF YOU TO SHARE IN MY DISTRESS."

And that is the reason why I am so grateful.​

Lots of love,

Jayson Speters‏ @JaysonFrans  May 14

Maybe a guy calls you a magic bean, hands you his card, and offers you a job. Maybe that card says his name is Hippie Lou. Missed you NYC.

what a collection of tiny, interconnected moments

dia, such a privilege meeting you, both yesterday and at the "decisive moment" of yore.

very sweet of you to take the time out and stop to speak to me and then later, to send me your beautiful work.

what a collection of tiny, interconnected moments, with the common thread being humans at their best, in the best sense of the word best!

i often forget the profound gift i am living, and you brought me back to it, ever so gently, ever so slowly, ever so beautifully.

#respect #humbled #grateful

with kind regards and love always, hippie lou

ok maybe we can talk about it someday soon

i am here to help you out, always remember that, ok?

i am less fragile these days, so i can handle some
of your stress, so don't be afraid to ask if you need
support, ok?

Yayy, you are getting your belongings back!! You are an example of tenacity and perseverance, David, and a goofball. Thats my story and i am sticking by it!

I have no advice to offer about how to live in this world.

Aw jeez Lou.

I read most of the attachment. Frankly, the writer could use Spellcheck a bit more often ("Stabel,?" "Destabelize?").

I am sorry to hear about what you have been going through. TBH I do not like psychologists/psychology much, and maybe not at all. I read the paragraph about your physical appearance and dress with a kind of disdainful fascination. Who cares what you look like? Whether you are "slightly overweight" or a "normal weight," or what kinds of necklaces you wear or how you style your hair? Um yeah, your style is eccentric, but so??? People are so quick to jump to conclusions about things like that. The last time I worked my ass off to get down to a healthy weight (this was years ago), people I worked with (my own boss even) assumed the weight was just falling off and was a symptom of mental illness.

And another thing about "eccentric" people: When asked to describe me, people have used the word "eccentric" and I just don't get it. I take it as a slap in the face honestly. I go out of my way not to be weird. I dress neutrally, I say neutral things, I try not to fall too far on the end of any spectrum. But something about me STILL screams "eccentric" to people.

I have no advice to offer about how to live in this world. Until dad died, I struggled with my finances in that I went through money very quickly and was always in debt and the debt kept getting worse and worse. I still owe the IRS from years ago. For the first time in 2018, some of that debt will fall off under the statute of limitations. Only some, but it's a start. I do wonder sometimes if I have an undiagnosed mental illness myself, because of my inability to hold what dad would have called a "real job," my extreme night owl-ness, my inability to save money, and my weight issues which have now become extreme. I also ruminate a lot on things I can't change. And I exhibit symptoms of OCD in that I talk to myself, out loud, in a ritualized fashion. Like, I have to say certain things out loud until I feel better again. I am too self-conscious to discuss the potential OCD diagnosis with a doctor, plus it doesn't bother me much in the sens of functioning in my public life...only in my private life.

I enjoyed our lunch too. I like steak in about any form, though I still say the sandwich could have used some cucumber-dill sauce or something. I like butterscotch too but one bite of the dessert was enough for me. I think that was the first time I ever shared dessert with anyone!!!

I think it's cool you have a PhD. It's usually a pleasure hanging with smart people. I often wish I had the motivation to pursue a Masters, but nothing interests me that much. I have heard of people getting MFA's in Performing Arts, but they are usually very talented performers with a lot of performance experience. Anyway, it's nice to share thoughts with someone who, as you put it, "speaks in metaphor."

So...maybe we can blow up a fireworks stand sometime?

I love you. I love the existential journey you are traveling. It's not an easy journey to endure, for you and those who care about you.

he has chosen an unconventional path right now but one that seems very authentic and optimistic.

Dear friends and family,

I wanted to let you all know that I had a delightful breakfast at a restaurant with David Webster in New York City in early August.  I met his good friend and we had a lovely time.  The staff and owner of the restaurant knew David well and they all treated him with great affection.

I was concerned as I know you all were when we received the email this summer which included the letter from his therapist.  I didn’t know what to expect when I met with him.  I’m glad to report that when I saw him he looked well fed and had a roof over his head.  He spoke eloquently  and thoughtfully.  We reminisced about his life journey and when he came to Elizabeth and my wedding back in 1986!

He had signed up for pubic assistance and was about to find out that week about possible new shelter.  We took some photos, he shared contact info for Pam and Kaisha and we promised to stay in touch.

If anyone else is planning a trip to NYC, I would encourage you to drop David a line.  From my limited perspective, he has chosen an unconventional path right now but one that seems very authentic and optimistic: a path that seems to be leading toward wholeness and well-being.

i can't help thinking that our "love sandwich" had something to do with it.

hi Sandy,

sincere apologies, i've been remiss in thanking you for everything - your visit, your love, your loving hospitality, the beautiful set of curated pictures you sent me a few days ago.  i will treasure you and your visit for a long long time; eternally, most likely.

i was just thinking of you because i had occasion to spend a minute with Shash a few mornings ago; she has a completely different energy, and walked away with a real bounce in her step.  her body language is very different than it has been in the last several years; her shoulders are back, and her head is up.  i can't help thinking that our "love sandwich" had something to do with it, and she talked about how our afternoon together was making a huge difference in her outlook and her life.  it was a good feeling, the power of human connection and "good" souls coming together to lift each other up.

i've been in a bit of a blue streak for the last week, and when your email arrived in the early am it hit me - maybe i'm having a withdrawal from all of the beautiful heart-soul energy i experienced while you were here.  suffice it to say, i am missing you too!

the last week has been one full of stuff which i'm not usually accustomed to...administrative tasks associated with me getting my first layer of maslovian needs through various public and private institutions.  it's not my first choice for the architecture of my world going forward, but in the interim, as i work on getting a 21st century mendicancy program put together, it's an important layer of safety that can keep me happy and healthy for the time being.

i absolutely love the picture of you taken against the white-bordered rectangles and the red metal siding.  very meta!

i have not forgotten about our ivy wall project, and hope to get moving forward with putting together some composites for you and sending them along.  thanks for gently reminding me about it, and feel free to do so in the future.  it's a very important project to me and i think we're destined to work on it together for the benefit of, hopefully, the universe and/or a few souls in it.

with kind regards and love always, hippie lou

i believe in the values behind freeganism (living in a way that's money free): cooperation, mutual aid, etc.

hello hippie lou,

thanks so much for coming out to see me today. i was glad to catch up with you. thank you for getting me the matcha lemonade today, too.

i'm writing to let you know that i actually feel quite discouraged after our conversation today about resisting capitalism. it's an idea that i'm drawn to, because i believe in the values behind freeganism (living in a way that's money free): cooperation, mutual aid, etc.

at the same time, i feel more helpless that the world is so dependent on capitalism. on the bus ride home, i feel like, in some ways, i'm not cut out for life because i'm discouraged / hesitant about my ability to make money and get out of debt.

on a separate note, i also wanted to tell you that i had a hard time interacting with you today, since you took most of the time talking, and i spent a majority of the time listening, even though i had a lot to say. i felt like i had to fight for airtime, and that i had to interrupt you in order to get my thoughts across, because you talked without stopping. i'm wondering, how can i have a chance to speak without interrupting you?

because of that, i didn't have a chance to tell you that i looked into filing for personal bankruptcy as a way to get debt free, but bankruptcy won't lead to that for me. that's because even if i filed for chapter 7 bankruptcy, i'll still have to pay back my student loans. it's unfortunate that, as a high school senior, i blindly believed what my father said, that he wanted to & could send me to "the best private school possible". but he played himself and screwed me over, since he owes $60K in education loans and i owe $30K. in essence, he and my mother sent me to a college that they couldn't afford to send me to. paying that debt down will be one of the biggest fights of my life.

best,

Awwww thankyou so much that meant a lot to me and him I'm sure he likes you a lot because you always give good advice. You might not have money but that's okay because you always have the best ADVICE. Phil just asked me to make deodorant so that's the next DIY thing I'm gonna do a natural deodorant ☺️☺️☺️ I love you

Aw, I'm so glad to have made even the smallest positive impact on your life! ☺️keep spreading your joy!

Then i learned how to dodge the draft by squatting in my friend's mom's brownstone in Bklyn Hts.

overnight with a hippie?

i did that in the late 60's

with my hippie

friends, heh-heh...

Then i learned how

to dodge the draft by squatting

in my friend's mom's brownstone

in Bklyn Hts. Real hard times...

But i'm paying the price now...

(i lived my retirement years in

my 20's and 30's, while i was

young enough to enjoy them!)

which price are you paying, 

and what for?

have not seen you since Columbia in spring;

you wore your headphones the whole

time, and after a short while

you decided to walk downtown

instead of listening to my new

songs at the open stage.

hey no problemo, i have more new

songs you won't want to hear either :>)

i do have one song which features a

turtle and an exploding cello,

auto-destruction, 2017 ! ! !

i guess you are relatively safe and

cared for, hopefully this summer is

merciful. if i had another room for

you i would gladly offer it, but my 

living room has no furniture. 

essentially, my living room is my attic.

(note below > > > >  \/   )

our friend tells me "don't worry, just

buy hippie a coffee and a bagel".

she also tells me yer phone was stolen

some time ago; SO,some no-name clown in

the Bronx has been reading all my 

pleading texts: "Mr. Hip where are

you? Come home, all is forgiven!".

Soon come, mon, soon come . .

I'll meet you at lazy llama one of

these days . . .or the sweet coffee

shop at corner of first and first

with that beautiful woman of the 

future. (your future? certainly not 

mine :>)))

anyroad, wishing you all the blessings

of the season; warmth, light, peace,

fellowship, and no more war...

Doug

P.S. give me a shout,let's hang...

____________________

doug, this is a beautiful message, i really appreciate it.

i meant no disrespect that night at Columbia; it's just 

in my elevated state i am terrible at waiting, truly.

and i am also terrible at being sensitive to the needs 

of others, in the moment, which is not my typical 

disposition, so when it appears, it can be quite jarring 

and alienating to the people who love me and who have 

been loving me throughout the years (as i have been 

loving them).  i consider you one of those people.

in short, when i am sick, i get quite selfish and focus 

exclusively on my own needs.  this manifests itself 

in a myriad of ways, over-talking, interrupting, aggressive 

and inappropriate behavior, bullying, irritability, paranoia, 

etc etc.

don't worry about overnight with a hippie, i'm just sending 

it around to people.  some people like it and pass it on to others, 

others are confused by it, others don't know how to respond 

and/or feel guilty about not responding or not offering me 

an overnight visit.

it's meant for people who would look at an overnight visit 

from me with a sense of anticipation, not a sense of dread.

and the message itself is not intended in any way to give 

anyone a "bum trip," in the parlance of hippies everywhere.

would love to get together with you, to see you.  perhaps 

you have a favorite coffee shop, a favorite place?

i'm happy to travel, friday is open for me at the moment.

happy to hear you are writing new stuff and very happy to 

know you are performing.

music inn (169 w. 4th) still looking for someone who repairs 

instruments, fyi.

the people I'm drawn to seem only to have in common that they tend to be made of a singular combination of ingredients I couldn't have dreamed up myself.

Hmm. I'm not one of those people with a distinct type, or able to make a laundry list of ideal qualities — the people I'm drawn to seem only to have in common that they tend to be made of a singular combination of ingredients I couldn't have dreamed up myself. That said, someone I'd want to spend a whole lot of time with would probably be quietly intelligent, and kind; would like words; would be infinitely curious about the world, and able to enjoy doing absolutely nothing as much as being totally engaged with something; would be part homebody and part wanderer, part city mouse and part country mouse. That would be a fine start, I reckon. As to the rest... definitely message me if you know the rest.

overnight with a hippie.

something magical happens when i'm with people, spending the night.

i never know what it is in advance, or even in the moment.  but with hindsight, it often becomes clear.

i'm a big believer in human connection, in encountering people face-to-face; in seeing what magic or mystery might appear, or not.

i do it in my daily life, in the street, as i walk, in the places i visit, with the people who come across my path, as i come across theirs.

at night, i find shelter from the elements a most useful gift, one that is shared with me by many generous people.

this nightly sharing of space, this osmotic hospitality, distributed amongst a large number of people, so as not to unduly burden any one person, allows me to walk the earth by day, energized; sharing freely of my gifts, both tangible and intangible, as others share theirs with me.

these small moments constitute the threads of my life, delicately interwoven with the fabric of the world around me.

would you like to become one of the sharers of overnight space, of shelter from the storm?  would you like to become an incubator of possibility, of magic and mystery?

feel free to drop me a line at hippielou [AT] gmail [DOT] com, or drop by the lazy llama [72 e. 1st street],  lilliput [265 lafayette street], or the music inn [169 w. 4th street].

with kind regards and love always, hippie lou :) xo

un|becoming** 101

this thing of un|becoming, what is it, how is it, why is it?

something full of mystery, to be sure.  about that let there be no doubt.  sometimes delicious, sometimes confounding.  worthy of consideration, perhapsly?

i have a special relationship with un|becoming.  it has been a source of endless fascination in my life.  fascination with my un|becoming, with the un|becoming of others.

i would love to share this fascination, this childlike wonder, with others similarly inclined.

from my perspective, to un|become is to live, truly.

i have a special affinity for people who feel some discomfort in and/or with their life and the world they live in, and are unwilling or unable to ignore that discomfort.

they seek to understand it, and if possible, to remedy it.

they may not be sure where to start or how to go about it.  they are, however, determined in their quest.

or, having perhaps discovered a better fitting, more hospitable and healthier way of being in the world, they are developing a life and a way of living in which they and others can flourish.

i was and am such a person.

in my life, somehow a room appeared.  and a time.  and a day of the week.  and some supporting materials.

a safe space in which to share, to incubate, to encounter; perhaps, ever so slightly, to un|become.

i am reaching out to interested folks.  there are no age restrictions.  there are no pecuniary costs.  there are no prerequisites other than a curiosity, an openness, a desire.

shall we talk?

with kind regards and love always, hippie lou


**un|becoming = unbecoming and/or becoming. :) xo

We are not famous like them.

From: BRAMSTOCKER Civic Punk
Date: Thu, Aug 10, 2017 at 11:04 AM
Subject: How BrAmStOcKeR cancelled the Presidency of Donald TRUMP!
To: Hippie Lou


Hi Hippie Lou:

I invite you this Saturday for the comeback of my band in New York, after many years, for only one song but the song that will succeed to stop the present chaos about Donald TRUMP at the White House!

The Sex Pistols released GOD SAVE THE QUEEN, this is the sequel of it in the United States but this time with a social content: we can cancel this Presidential election and vote again for the Midterm next year in November! By the way, I will be candidate like BON JOVI could be with Kate MOSS on his ticket.

We are not famous like them, me and my wife and associate, Jessie ANDREWS. Consequently, you must support our project that is not-for-profit and sincere! We want an improvement of the American society and an amendment of the Constitution to organize a IVth Reich of the democracy to stop definitely the risk of a continuation of World War II and Nazism that was an ideology dysfunctional with antisemitism.

Regarding BrAmStOcKeR, we were in 1977 victims of a conspiracy that was international against our French band. 40 years later, it is neutralized by the time, our strategy and our talent! You are a part of our network that can decide to upgrade us in order to have in America The Beatles of the 21st Century: an emblematic group playing Metal and House together (Jessie is a DJ and a fashion model) for a concept we promote in our debut album of 12 songs, FAKE PUNK.

Thank you for your time and see you on Saturday (the open mic is at 147 Bleecker Street from 1 to 6, be there for the whole show)!

Frederic VIDAL, PhD

not from a self-help book - just from paying attention.

Some things I have come to over time... Be true. Know the value of authenticity. Lead with your heart. Move through the world with the ease of someone who isn't always looking for something more or better, because it's not where you think it is. (not from a self-help book - just from paying attention.)

I try to remember that I have no idea what most people around me are going through and start from a place of knowing I don't know. It creates a softness where there could have been disapproval or annoyance or hard edges.

I'd like to meet someone that wants to be an active participant in a relationship of our own devising!

I've recently gotten into relationship anarchy, I think a lot of the rules we have about relationships are baseless and potentially harmful. I'd like to meet someone who is a good listener, and a good talker, that wants to be an active participant in a relationship of our own devising! That's not all going to happen on the first date or anything, just something to be aware of.

Except most women including me connect intimacy with their heart.

hi, you have a beautiful, beautiful profile, i especially like your self-summary.  beautifully written and succinctly stated. :)

with kind regards and love always, hippie lou

Yesterday - 8:20pm
Hi, thanks. I liked your profile as well. The answers on your summary were kind of hippie like..lol. I hope you don't smoke tobacco.

Yesterday - 8:59pm
thanking you very much for your kind words.  i do smoke tobacco, it's something very recent and i don't intend to keep it up for very long.  but i understand having a strong dislike for it; my wife smoked and it bothered me a lot for our entire (19) year marriage.  i often wondered what i was thinking when i was dating her; i guess it wasn't as important then.

i want to be up front as well - i think your profile is clear about you looking for a long-term partner, which i totally respect and understand.  i take my intimate relationships very seriously, and look for deep and wide-ranging connections, but also allow myself the freedom to follow intimacy and love wherever and whenever it presents itself in my life.  for me, it is a necessary condition for sustained health and well-being.  i realize this is not in concert with the preferences of many women on this site, and also in the world as we know it, so i like to be up front about it with those i correspond with so as to minimize the possibility of a misunderstanding.

having said that, you seem like someone i would really like to get to know, but understand if the aforementioned is a deal-breaker.

with kind regards and love always, hippie lou

Yesterday - 9:15pm
Wow, okay, let me gather my thoughts... If you can't be with the one you love, love the one your with? That's pretty much how most guys are, nothing new. Except most women including me connect intimacy with their heart then can and do get hurt!

Today - 1:48am
i realize this approach is not in concert with the preferences of many women on this site, and also in the world as we know it.  i'm not in this life to hurt anyone, it's the last thing i would ever want to do.

I got lost in the confusion of Bipolar I disorder.

Dear David,

I want to apologize for the 'tone' of my conversation last night.

I got lost in the confusion of Bipolar I disorder and forgot that the core of your humanity is love, light & kindness:  a beautiful, amazing man.

A virágnak megtiltani nem lehet.

You cannot bid the flower not bloom; it thrives
When, on mild zephyrs’ wings, the spring arrives.
A girl is spring, her love a scented flower,
Which buds and blooms ’neath balmy air and shower.

When first I saw thee, dear, I fell in love
With thy fair soul the tender charm thereof.
With that soul’s beauty, which I ever see
Reflected in thine eyes bewitchingly.

The question rises sometimes in my breast —
Shall I, or others by thy love be blessed?
These thoughts pursue each other in my mind,
As sun rays’ clouds, when blows the autumn wind.

Knew I another waited thy embrace,
Could kiss the milk and roses of thy face,
My broken heart I far away would bear,
Or end in death the depth of my despair.

Shine down on me, O star, so born to bless!
And light the dreary night of my distress!
O my heart’s pearl! if thou can’st love me, love,
And blessing shall be thine from God above.

Mental illness, physical injuries... all just symptoms of a wounded spirit.

From: Hippie Lou
Date: Thu, Jul 13, 2017 at 8:20 PM
Subject: Re: Love you <3
To: Gordon Peters

you speak to me, you speak for me brother.  with so much love always.  you are an inspiration to me and my guide every moment, truly. <3


On Thu, Jul 13, 2017 at 7:15 PM, Gordon Peters wrote:

Letting the disclaimers that placated the people I never wanted to please go... pleasing myself and those who really care about me in the process. I will live my life as a spiritual person, as a spiritual worker. It is always who I've been, always how I've been in community. I lived with a very profound spiritual wound for a long time... it almost killed me. It ravished my mind, my body... when spirit is wounded, mind and matter start to decay, become wounded themselves. Mental illness, physical injuries... all just symptoms of a wounded spirit... it is with a healed spirit that I will heal my mind and body... it is humbling myself before the divine energy of the universe that heals my spirit, that gives me a new life... new health.

I have never forgotten, and I will never forget my beloved niece Shanika.

February 6, 2017

David L. Webster
4002 12th Street
Long Island City, NY 11101

Your Honor,

I am writing in reference to Shanika Taylor in the matter before the court of custody of her sons A'Lonte and Ayden Taylor.

I am Shanika's uncle and have known her for her entire life.

I obtained a profound understanding of the quality of Shanika's character in 2011.  Up until that point in my life I had experienced nothing but success.  I had completed a Ph.D. at the University of Chicago, had established a thriving management consulting business serving pharmaceutical and biotechnology companies, and was raising my daughter with my wife Pam in a comfortable house in Nazareth, Pennsylvania.  My family and I had an idyllic life.

I started suffering from an undiagnosed illness in 2007 that ultimately turned my and my family's world upside down.  On January 8, 2011, our home in Nazareth was foreclosed.  We had nowhere to go.  None of my family members, including my parents and my three brothers and one sister, all of them of substantial means and with spacious accommodations, offered us any assistance.  Although some of my friends were supportive, none of them stepped forward to offer the three of us a place to stay.

Into the breach stepped Shanika.  Not wanting us to go into a homeless shelter, she generously offered me, my wife, and my daughter Kaisha a place in her apartment.  Shanika was critical to my family's ability to regroup and get on our feet again, and we are all thriving today due in large part to her generosity.  I cannot imagine where we would be without Shanika's empathy, her compassion, and her willingness to share her limited resources with a family in need.

I have never forgotten, and I will never forget my beloved niece Shanika.  I can attest to her character in this letter with words, but Shanika demonstrates her character every day with something far more important - deeds.  Despite our significant age difference, Shanika is a role model for me and I aspire every day to live up to her example of kindness and compassion, her example of sacrifice for others.

I have witnessed that same spirit of sacrifice and support countless times with her sons Zachariah, A'Lonte, and Ayden.  I have seen with my own eyes and felt with my own heart the love Shanika has for her children, and I have never witnessed any incidents of physical and emotional abuse.

In closing, I will say simply that I hold Shanika in my highest esteem.

With kind regards,

David L. Webster

In meantime I would like you to ask you if you could stay in my apt.

B/e
Thank you for info!
I will reach out!
In meantime I would like you to ask you if you could stay in my apt while
I am traveling from 20 July to 27 July and take care of my cats- give them food and change a cat litter ?
Pls let me know and if course you can sleep over here and use utilities !
With love
M/e

i also am very concerned about endangering the harmony of my living situation.

i have left keys to my apartment with a friend

if, in emergency, or in respite, you would like to stay there, you are welcome, on a few conditions....

i know these things are more or less out of your control but there is a crotchety crazy super and a loud drunk neighbor so PLEASE do not come if you feel it might be difficult to encounter these types of people.   PLEASE.   i am very torn because i want you to have a lovely place to relax and noodle around and feel the jersey breeze, but i also am very concerned about endangering the harmony of my living situation.     please use your best judgment.

and please be ready to vacate by july 6 because we're gonna come home in a hot mess

if you want to arrange to pick up keys from my friend you can call him

please keep me posted either way

The artist becomes the last champion of the individual mind and sensibility against an intrusive society and an officious state.

Our national strength matters, but the spirit which informs and controls our strength matters just as much. This was the special significance of Robert Frost. He brought an unsparing instinct for reality to bear on the platitudes and pieties of society. His sense of the human tragedy fortified him against self-deception and easy consolation. "I have been" he wrote, "one acquainted with the night." And because he knew the midnight as well as the high noon, because he understood the ordeal as well as the triumph of the human spirit, he gave his age strength with which to overcome despair. At bottom, he held a deep faith in the spirit of man, and it is hardly an accident that Robert Frost coupled poetry and power, for he saw poetry as the means of saving power from itself. When power leads men towards arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses. For art establishes the basic human truth which must serve as the touchstone of our judgment.

The artist, however faithful to his personal vision of reality, becomes the last champion of the individual mind and sensibility against an intrusive society and an officious state. The great artist is thus a solitary figure. He has, as Frost said, a lover's quarrel with the world. In pursuing his perceptions of reality, he must often sail against the currents of his time. This is not a popular role. If Robert Frost was much honored in his lifetime, it was because a good many preferred to ignore his darker truths. Yet in retrospect, we see how the artist's fidelity has strengthened the fibre of our national life.

If sometimes our great artists have been the most critical of our society, it is because their sensitivity and their concern for justice, which must motivate any true artist, makes him aware that our Nation falls short of its highest potential. I see little of more importance to the future of our country and our civilization than full recognition of the place of the artist.

If art is to nourish the roots of our culture, society must set the artist free to follow his vision wherever it takes him. We must never forget that art is not a form of propaganda; it is a form of truth. And as Mr. MacLeish once remarked of poets, there is nothing worse for our trade than to be in style. In free society art is not a weapon and it does not belong to the spheres of polemic and ideology. Artists are not engineers of the soul. It may be different elsewhere. But democratic society--in it, the highest duty of the writer, the composer, the artist is to remain true to himself and to let the chips fall where they may. In serving his vision of the truth, the artist best serves his nation. And the nation which disdains the mission of art invites the fate of Robert Frost's hired man, the fate of having "nothing to look backward to with pride, and nothing to look forward to with hope."

I look forward to a great future for America, a future in which our country will match its military strength with our moral restraint, its wealth with our wisdom, its power with our purpose. I look forward to an America which will not be afraid of grace and beauty, which will protect the beauty of our natural environment, which will preserve the great old American houses and squares and parks of our national past, and which will build handsome and balanced cities for our future.

I look forward to an America which will reward achievement in the arts as we reward achievement in business or statecraft. I look forward to an America which will steadily raise the standards of artistic accomplishment and which will steadily enlarge cultural opportunities for all of our citizens. And I look forward to an America which commands respect throughout the world not only for its strength but for its civilization as well. And I look forward to a world which will be safe not only for democracy and diversity but also for personal distinction.

Robert Frost was often skeptical about projects for human improvement, yet I do not think he would disdain this hope. As he wrote during the uncertain days of the Second War:

Take human nature altogether since time began . . .
And it must be a little more in favor of man,
Say a fraction of one percent at the very least . . .
Our hold on this planet wouldn't have so increased.

Because of Mr. Frost's life and work, because of the life and work of this college, our hold on this planet has increased.

mādhukarī, aka: madhukarī, madhukari; 2 definition(s)

Nāṭyaśāstra (theatrics and dramaturgy)

Madhukarī (मधुकरी) refers to a type of syllabic metre (vṛtta), according to the Nāṭyaśāstra chapter 16. In this metre, the seventh, the eighth and the ninth syllables of a foot (pāda) are heavy (guru), while the rest of the syllables are light (laghu). It is also known by the name Bhujagaśiśubhṛtā.

⏑⏑⏑¦⏑⏑⏑¦⎼⎼⎼¦¦⏑⏑⏑¦⏑⏑⏑¦⎼⎼⎼¦¦
⏑⏑⏑¦⏑⏑⏑¦⎼⎼⎼¦¦⏑⏑⏑¦⏑⏑⏑¦⎼⎼⎼¦¦

Madhukarī falls in the Bṛhatī class of chandas (‘rhythm-type’), which implies that verses constructed with this metre have four pādas (‘foot’ or ‘quarter-verse’) containing nine syllables each.

Nāṭyaśāstra (नाट्यशास्त्र, natya-shastra) refers to both the ancient Indian tradition of performing arts, (e.g., theatrics, drama, dance, music), as well as the name of a Sanskrit work dealing with these subjects. It also teaches the rules for composing dramatic plays (nāṭya) and poetic works (kāvya).
General definition (in Hinduism)

Mādhukarī (माधुकरी).—A saintly mendicant who takes a little food from each householder's place like a bee gathering honey; a system of begging adopted by a mendicant.

libra, here are three different angles on your long-term destiny.

PART 1
For a bald eagle in flight, feathers are crucial in maintaining balance. If it inadvertently loses a feather on one wing, it will purposely shed a comparable feather on the other wing. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, this strategy has metaphorical meaning for your life in 2017. Do you want to soar with maximum grace and power? Would you like to ascend and dive, explore and scout, with ease and exuberance? Learn from the eagle's instinctual wisdom.

PART 2
"The self in exile remains the self, as a bell unstruck for years is still a bell," writes poet Jane Hirshfield. I suspect that these words are important for you to hear as you prepare for 2017. My sense is that in the past few months, your true self has been making its way back to the heart of life after a time of wandering on the outskirts. Any day now, a long-silent bell will start ringing to herald your full return. Welcome home!

PART 3
I am rooting for you to be flagrantly unique in 2017. I vehemently want you to be uninhibited about expressing your deepest, rawest, hottest inclinations. In this spirit, I offer the following four rallying cries: 1. "Don't be addicted to looking cool, baby!" - my friend Luther. 2. Creative power arises when you conquer your tendency to stay detached. - paraphrased from poet Marianne Moore. 3. If you want to be original, have the courage to be an amateur. - paraphrased from poet Wallace Stevens. 4. "In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, in the expert's mind there are few." - Zen teacher Shunryu Suzuki.

If possible maybe you could take up employment if you are able to?

Your lawyer had emailed me
That you needed help. I cannot financially assist
You but was just curious as to how you are holding up. If possible maybe you could take up employment if you are able to? Or no? Don't know the inner workings so please forgive
Me if anything I say is ignorant
14m 8 minutes ago

errrmmm
 hippie lou
 i don't think it was my lawyer
4m
Sent

Sorry
 dhaval*
 It was your counsellor
4m

i sent you an email with a pdf in it
 hippie lou
 that was from me
4m
Sent

Ohhhh okay
 dhaval*
 Did someone help out
4m

 hippie lou
 it contained a report from my therapist
4m
Sent

Yes sir that is what I meant
 dhaval*
 My mistake
4m

it is no problem, there are no mistakes.
you can never make one, truly. :) xo
 hippie lou
 universe is abundant, we always seem to get what we need. :) xo
3m
Sent

I should do so not as a Brahmin, Kshatriya, Vaishya or Shudra, but as an Atishudra.

I DO NOT want to be reborn. But if I have to be reborn, I should be born an untouchable, so that I may share their sorrows, sufferings, and the affronts leveled at them, in order that I may endeavour to free myself and them from that miserable condition. I, therefore, prayed that, if I should be born again, I should do so not as a Brahmin, Kshatriya, Vaishya or Shudra, but as an Atishudra.

I have been providing him with food, shelter & essentials for a few years now.

Hello Ms. Kelsick,

I wanted to connect with you to introduce myself and also to apologize for having to cancel our scheduled meeting for last Thursday 5/4. I just returned from a trip to Mexico on 5/3 and, unfortunately due to some water or food intake, had become very sick.

I was looking forward to meeting with you since I've heard many good things about you and the work you and Catholic Charities do from David. I also remember how well David responded to the program he attended there. I can say, without reservation, that it was a pivotal point in his recovery process at that time.

As you probably know, David lives with me and I have been providing him with food, shelter & essentials for a few years now. I meet David in 2008 just before he became acutely ill and have been involved in his recovery process since that time.

I'm more than sure that you must have a very busy schedule but would very much appreciate if we can set up another appointment to meet and discuss the current situation regarding David. Please let me know what are the best dates and times for you and I will work with you to confirm.

I copied Steve Dawson on this email since I have been in contact with him also regarding David.

Thank you for time and efforts.
Respectfully,
Meral Bozkurt

in my efforts to accurately inform future intimate partners.

hi,

i will be visiting dr. lerner, my primary care physician,
at the end of july.

any information that you and/or your medical
providers are able to provide him about your std
history would be extremely useful in my efforts
to accurately inform future intimate partners
regarding my exposure to sexually transmitted diseases.

dr. lerner's contact information is below.  he is bound
by HIPAA, which protects your confidentiality.  i have
also included a link which gives an overview of the
regulations and i'm sure dr. lerner would be able to answer
any questions you might have.

with kind regards and love always, me


Barron Lerner MD, PhD
Bellevue Hospital Center

C&D Building #230
462 1st Avenue
NY NY 10016
212 562 6674

Glad to hear from you especially after what I believe was a spurious report.

Thankyou! Glad to hear from you especially after what I believe was a spurious report just now that your therapist had written to say you had had a manic episode yesterday. I told her you looked fine to me and charmed that elderly woman at the bar.
:)

How are you experiencing this?

I wanted to reach out and see how you are doing. I am out of the area and don't have cell service. I will be out all next week but I can email. I have gotten a few concerning emails from people in Your care team and I am really concerned, as it sounds like things are getting intense out there for you. How are you experiencing this? Does it seem like the risk is starting to outweigh the reward? Does it make sense for you to go back on medication and work towards creating a new support system and trying again when things in Your life get more settled? I wish I was there to help and I would urge you to contact Dr Atim again to discuss this in  More detail but please let me know your thoughts on this. It seems like every red flag that you mentioned has come up and I am worried for you.

Steve

Yes i did call Dr. Dawson on your behalf.

HL,

    You are a good man HL and we all love you that is why we are concerned. I am your brother for life. I have always been honestly with you in life, love and everything in between.
    There is nothing to be ashamed about. This game we call life is not easy, but having family that cares makes it a little easier.
    Yes i did call Dr. Dawson on your behalf. I have nothing to hid. It was done out of love and support.

I DO NOT WANT TO BE NOTIFIED ABOUT ANY OF THOSE NEGATIVE OUTCOMES.

Dear friend,

I'm writing an IMPORTANT message:

When I was living in NY, we always had a conversation about the possibility of you getting sick. You are in a manic episode.

You gave me authorization to take you to the hospital if needed. I am not there to fulfill this commitment and make your wish done.

As a responsable patient and mature adult I am asking you to CHECK IN AT THE HOSPITAL VOLUNTARILY.

Being things are they are right now the manic episode has escalated to risky point, I am concern because it might lead to:
-involuntary hospitalization,
-problems with the police
-or a "visit" to Rickers.

I DO NOT WANT TO BE NOTIFIED ABOUT ANY OF THOSE NEGATIVE OUTCOMES.

PLEASE DO THE RIGHT THING.
Check in: voluntarily at the hospital of your preference.

If you want any assistance contact Steve and he will help you.

Your friend,

#takecourage
#D2L

9. Taking about people not liking you because you are black.

HL,

I would like to speak to you. You know I love you like a brother , however I do not like how you are acting and I believe you have to get back on your Meds.
For now I do not want you at the clubhouse or Schillers.

1. You are getting very aggressive.
2. You are looking for a fight.
3. You embarrassed me with Jenn the other night.
4. You embarrassed me last night at my meeting.
5. You almost had a fight at Schillers the other night and if I was not there you would have.
6. You were not making sense last night at Schiller's and you were speaking crazy to Dom.
7. You are preaching your believes on people and being aggressive doing it.
8. You got nasty with Briana.
9. Taking about people not liking you because you are black.

Let me know when you want to meet to speak.
We can meet at a coffee shop later today.
I am speaking to you man to man and not reaching out to your doctor.
You need to go back on your Meds.

i think the email from your friend tom was not unreasonable.

hi

i am up writing this because i'm worried about you.    i too have noticed changes that seem to make it clearer that you are getting 'elevated'.....   you know that i have a broader view than many about what constitutes 'mental illness' and what might be described as a heightened creative state, but given what i know of your long-term story i think i have to tell you when i see signs of things that might be detrimental to your well being.

i think the email from your friend tom was not unreasonable, he was very specific and not attacking you personally, rather listing things that have happened.  you have also described to me several 'encounters' in the last few weeks that involve increasing and inappropriate levels of aggression.   i really don't think the thing on the bus would have happened even a month ago.  

the main thing that tells me something is amiss is that during our MUCH TREASURED conversations it really feels like you are less and less able to listen well and more and more led by needing to do all the talking, sometimes off topic (even by my extremely meandering standards ;-) ).

this is not the person i know and love, who is pretty much the best listener i have ever met.  well, it is of course, deep down, in your good good heart.  but i just wanted to check in with you about the changes i see because i care very much about your well being.

i am truly sorry if my actions have contributed to or triggered distress in any way.  i am so so sorry if i let you down or have made you feel bad.

i hope we can talk this weekend.  

much much much love

he lacks consistent access to food.

Date: 6/13/2017

I am writing this on behalf of David Webster.

David has been a client of mine since 3/16/2016.  He currently receives weekly therapy from me for the treatment of Bipolar 1 Disorder and he receives medication management from Bellevue Hospital's mental health outpatient clinic.

David's living arrangements have recently changed and he is at an increased risk of street level homelessness.  David is unable to work due to the severity of his condition and is beginning the process of applying for disability benefits.

David is currently living on and off with friends but this situation is not permanent.  He lacks consistent access to food and due to the transient nature of his life at this time, many of his belongings are at risk of being lost due to a lack of storage capacity.

I have advised him to contact your office to see if you can help him with the above mentioned issues.

He could benefit from SNAP food assistance, referral for case management services to assist with permanent housing, help with his disability application, and if possible assistance with storing his personal items until his housing situation is secure.

Please feel free to contact me with any questions and thank you for your help with this matter.

Sincerely,

Steven Dawson LCSW

www.DawsonPsychotherapy.com

as CEO of his still-active corporation, he should have at least $1 in annual income as officer of a corporation.

Dear Hippie/David and Dr. Dawson:

1. Thank you for sharing this. My initial reaction to getting a PDF with little comment was that it was a virus. However, David/Hippie probably shared it because I had previously requested his medical record, and had asked him if he was under the care of a psychiatrist and/or receiving medication. (I didn't get an answer despite many emails but got offered a chapbook instead. I own a small data science consulting corporation, am a former hiring manager at relevant employers, & have a PhD in molecular biophysics & biochemistry from Yale so while I am technically a lay person I am able to read medical histories to some extent.)

I know your letter says you (Dr. Dawson) requested that he (David/Hippie) share this with me, but I don't think you meant the whole file, which contains some sensitive information. (I think, however, Hippie/David did mean to share the whole file with me.)

2. I support his application to Fountain House.

For reasons I will explain, I don't believe it is aggressive enough in his particular situations. I have suggested he look into the therapeutic farms in upstate NY (while continuing psychiatric care) as clinical studies have suggest both the communal work & contact with microbes from farm animals are beneficial in cases of depression and PTSD when other treatments have failed. I have also suggested, under the care of a psychiatrist, that he look into PEFM as I understand it is FDA-approved when anti-depressants fail (I will explain why I think his treatment is not aggressive enough in his situation.)

3. Nowhere in the medical history does it mention his use of "Hippie Lou" as an alias (although it is mentioned in the Fountain House application). It is not clear if this is an innocent "professional" stage name in his newfound singing career (there is an IMDB entry for a "Hippie Lou" that performed in California briefly; not clear if this is the same person) and/or attempt to protect his privacy so that he can email & use social media without it damanging his "David Webster" brand.

However, I was shocked some years back to get a Facebook friend request from a. "Hippie Lou", and his tendency to sign emails as "Hippie Lou" is somewhat disturbing, especially if the context (is this supposed to be a professional stage name?) Is not clear.

It has gotten to the point where we refer to David as "Hippie" amongst his former colleagues.

In my lay opinion, his medical history probably should mention "Hippie Lou" just to document that this persona has been evaluated and is not borderline personality disorder.

4.

One of the other concerns around "Hippie Lou" is that it is a very different persona from the one many of us knew when we worked with David professionally.

In his Fountain House application, he crosses out "substance abuse" and changes it to "substance use", and writes a lot of side notes on the handwritten application. This is not the application of a consultant who once made $700/hr, who needs to be highly focused at that price point.

5.

There is no mention in the medical history of David/Hippie have received involuntary ECT on Riker's Island. This was the rumor going around (his friend Prof. Cameron of believes it to be true). I did not get a denial from Hippie or a correction of the facts when I sent him materials on the negative consequences from ECT.

According to these sources (which include Cornell-trained psychiatrist), ECT causes long-term brain damage but only short-term benefit. Since Hippie/David's future income is highly tied (IMHO) to his IQ brain damage is very bad in his situation.

One of the reasons I wanted his medical history (or to talk with his psychiatrist) was to find out if a lawsuit against NYS was in order for involuntary ECT.

From the medical history, it sounds like this incident never happened. (For one, his stay in Rikers' was also much shorter than described.) In which case he probably should have corrected us, as we were wasting time on potential courses of "treatment" that in appropriate (I.e., I inquired with ECT Justice on whether a lawsuit might be appropriate or not.)

6. As a former hiring manager in related disciplines, Dr. Webster has a very high potential income. (I am aware of one major corporation that has set up an entire website domain -- not webpage, or website, but website with its domain name just for collecting resumes very similar to his. They have more than 30 unfilled positions. Granted, these positions are unfilled because they want to pay too low of a wage, as they must know. But his salary from this corporation, which is seeking, on paper anyway, his exact background, is easily six figures.

His singing career is clearly irrational. If he wanted to change careers and become a folksinger, IMHO he would be better suited to work part-time as a economist, and use his earnings to fund publicity & professional management for his new found hobby or prospective career.

However, having interviewed and screened hundreds of potential applicants for some of the most selective employers in the world (I'm quoted in major newspapers on career advice and have a bio in WIkipedia), his immediate problem is very poor credit.

His poor credit will come up in corporate background screenings, who would consider a risk to their sensitive corporation information. Depending on whether or not he declares bankruptcy, it will take 7-10 years to repair this.

Also, any traditional (i.e. W2) employer is likely IMHO to be immediately hit by multiple wage garnish requests. In most states, 2 or more wage garnishment requests is cause for immediate termination as these requests impose a significant legal burden on his employers. Even if his employers do not conduct a background screening and somehow avoid wage garnishment requests, they would learn of his IRS debt problems through his W4 or W9 form, where he would declare he is subject to backup withholding. Since these forms are electronically reported within 15 days in most states, the IRS would be in contact with any new employer very quickly if he declared otherwise.

7.

A better avenue would be his PA-based consulting corporation, which, when I checked a few month back, was still in active standing with the state.

As a separate legal entity, it is likely not subject to backup withholding, and so would likely present clients with a clean W9. (The IRS will still wage garnish it, and it and creditors can still seize it, so he & his company still need (separate) attorneys. More on this later.)

His personal credit might still negatively impact his corporation, not only in having to hire lawyers to deal with wage garnishment requests from creditors, but also difficulty obtaining corporate insurance. Now a days many consulting client anti-fraud checks require a PayPal account, and a corporate PayPal account may be hard to obtain if he cannot obtain a personal bank account due to his IRS situation. An attorney could help negotiate a settlement with the IRS that would cause them to relieve pressure on him until he is back on his feet.

7a. As another example of this, I am aware of a (cash-strapped?) licensed psychologist in UK seeking a cost-benefit analysis on psychotherapy. Hippie/David would (prior to his illness) be extremely qualified to do this kind of study, and the U.K. psychiatrist would be well-trained to deal with David and likely very tolerant of his condition (being cash-strapped as he seeks to do a psychiatric technology startup.) I am not sure how good of an opportunity this is for David, but I have discussed this scenario with the psychiatrist in question, and he seems open to it if protesting a lack of money.

It suggests there are employment opportunities out there if David's condition can be somewhat improved.

8.

David states on Fountain House application that he has no income. However, as CEO of his still-active corporation, he should have (by good compliance practice) at least $1 in annual income as officer of a corporation.

If he's still married (his friend Prof. Cameron and I were under the impression the divorce had gone through some years ago), in many states he would be entitled to income from his wife (or, technically, some portion of his wife's income would technically be considered his income in many states). If his wife is not supporting him, he needs to finalize the divorce. (I'm sure his wife will appreciate if the IRS stops coming after her as well, "innocent spousal relief" etc.) This is purely a legal/financial decision; if he still loves her can always remarry her later once his situation improves.

9.

For all of the above I would say he needs a credit counselor & lawyers (divorce, corporate, tax/financial advice) etc and physical trainer (Dr. Ratner's work at Harvard suggests exercise is critical, but he has told me he is "too depressed" at times to do even a simple workout.)

10. Hippie/Dr. Webster has told me (circa 2011) he was "too depressed" to even do a phone job interview with the company I worked for at time (I would otherwise have been able to arrange an interview as a hiring manager there). This suggests very severe depression in need of aggressive treatment.


His friend (Prof Cameron) has offered to vouch to potential consulting clients and guarantee work is done properly (being an expert in economics and having formerly worked with David in better days), but if he is "too depressed" to even talk to clients on the phone this is unlikely to go anywhere. Prof. Cameron or I would handle most interactions with clients, but clients do occasionally want to be reassured their consultant is a real human being, and will want to talk or email "Dr. Webster," who minimally needs to respond promptly to those inquiries and say Prof. Cameron (or whoever) is handling all client communications.

It is also worth noting that restarting a consulting business (according to various textbooks & experts on the matter) requires repolishing your resume. I while back I asked David to put together an updated CV or list all of his white papers & publications & press mentions somewhere, perhaps on an ORCID (free website).

David/HIppie was at one point heavily quoted as an expert on pharmaceutical economics in major newspapers (NYT, WSJ, Boston Globe, you name it). He used to have a corporate website up that listed all of these press quotations, which are an invaluable calling card and credential when attracting new clients. I suggest David/Hippie bring his old corporate website back up (his domain was apparently purchased by a squatter, so he will need a new domain name for his company), but he expressed little interest.

Also very valuable with clients are skills with the R programming language, etc. I found a trivial little website that teaches R. In his old days at Chicago this would have been a trivial little game for him to play to learn a little R. However, David/Hippie told me he had lost all interest in economics or programming. He instead (as I understood at the time) preferred now to sing folk songs, despite much lower earning potential (which wouldn't let him hire the professionals he needs to deal with his other situations). I recommended he spend 50% on economics and 50% on folk singing, using the economics to subsidize a manager or publicist for folk singing, but he said had lost all interest.


11.

I would consider SNAP a failure given his income potential. I realize that getting someone onto SNAP might be medically considered a success, but what he really needs is to get some sort of employment so that he can afford the aforementioned team to manage his situation (psychiatric, financial, credit worthiness/background checks, fitness).

Again, his situation is unusual given he has very high income potential. Any long-term treatment (in my lay opinion) must account for this, or rule it out as impossible.

In my lay opinion, putting him on SNAP is essentially an admission of medical failure given what should be his very high income potential were he responding adequately to treatment.

In my opinion, SNAP should only be considered a short-term fix, as part of a longer-term roadmap to restore his income potential. Restoring even a fraction of his normal income potential (25% or 50% time work) would enable him to afford more aggressive treatment options (eg therapeutic farm work, PFEM, physical trainer to motivate him to workout, etc.) as well as hire professionals to solve some of the other major problems (tax/credit lawyers, separate corporate lawyer, divorce lawyer.)

12.

Again I do support his application to Fountain House, but for many of the reasons stated above don't think it goes far enough.

(I draw your attention again to missing mention of "Hippie Lou" persona in the medical file, apparently false rumor that subject received involuntary ECT, missing mention of corporate/spousal income on Fountain House application, lack of any plan for credit counseling which is absolutely essential to employment in many of the sensitive jobs that would normally aggressively recruit Dr. Webster, lack of plan for legal counseling which IMHO is necessary on a number of fronts, special situations arising from the very high income potential from the patient if and when he is rehabilitated both psychiatrically and credit-wise, etc)

Thus, I think a more aggressive & more comprehensive & more holistic plan is warranted, if this is possible.

It was cool to meet you at random in the streets.

From: JYM- FACTORY
Date: Mon, Jul 3, 2017 at 5:48 AM
Subject: Re: flaneur/bricoleur on bleecker street, approximately 7:15a this morning. :) xo
To: Hippie Lou


It was cool to meet you at random in the streets.
If I come back to Manhattan, I'll contact you.
I will post your photo on my website.
See you soon Le Flâneur.
Thank you very much.
JYM
www.jym-factory.com

2017-07-03 11:43 GMT+02:00 Hippie Lou:
no facebook account.

instagram is @louhippie.

of course you can publish and
use in any format, digital or print,
for any and all uses.

i live around (i don't sleep around,
but i live around) ... mostly with friends,
mostly in manhattan.

no fixed address, no prior travel arrangements.

le flâneur, truly!

On Mon, Jul 3, 2017 at 5:38 AM, JYM- FACTORY wrote:
Do you have an FB account?
Can I publish your photo?
I'm glad you like the picture.
Where do you live ?

2017-07-03 11:29 GMT+02:00 Hippie Lou:
i absolutely love love love it!

you are a talent beyond measure.

it was such a privilege to meet you, truly.

traveler, there is no path.
the path is made by walking.
or in your case, rolling!

roll on brother, with your bad self.

(bad is american slang, so when
you say someone is bad you are
giving them a compliment fyi)

with kind regards and love always,

le flaneur!

On Mon, Jul 3, 2017 at 5:25 AM, JYM- FACTORY wrote:
Bonjour le flâneur de Manhattan.

2017-07-01 21:09 GMT+02:00 JYM- FACTORY:
Hi Le Flaneur,
We return in Paris today.
I take care of your very fast photo.
Thanks to you the handyman of Manhattan.
See you soon.

JYM

2017-06-28 15:41 GMT+02:00 Hippie Lou:

flaneur/bricoleur on bleecker street, approximately 7:15a this morning. :) xo

Thank you so much I had so much fun today.

Hello Lou,

I wanted to thank you for everything! I enjoyed your presents and appreciate you !

Look forward to working with you and learning from you, I am honored to know such an amazing soul!

I working on putting the list together as well as researching all the things you asked me to, I should have the details together in an couple of days.

Thank you so much I had so much fun today and learned many things and really connected with some amazing people through you!

Sincerely

it received an external hard drive belonging to Webster.

Webster Dental Group Dentist Charged with Child Porn Possession

Dr. Henry Webster was arraigned on Thursday, according to the District Attorney's spokesman.

By Tom Auchterlonie (Patch Staff) - Updated August 12, 2011 4:09 pm ET

A former Mount Kisco resident and Greenburgh dentist is accused of possessing child pornography.

Dr. Henry Webster, of Greenburgh-based (Scarsdale P.O.), was arraigned in Mount Kisco Justice Court on Thursday because he lived in the village when the alleged offense took place, according to DA spokesman Lucian Chalfen.

Now a resident upstate in Elizabethtown, NY, Webster was released on $5,000 bail, the Westchester County District Attorney's office announced.

Webster, 56, was charged with one felony count of child pornography possession (the official term is "Possessing an Obscene Sexual Performance by a Child").

The DA's office announced that it received an external hard drive belonging to Webster on May 6 of this year. After an investigation, the DA office claims, images of children under 16 years old were found. The DA's office also claims that Webster was interviewed on July 22 and admitted to downloading and storing the images.

Webster could not be reached for comment. His next court date is Aug. 25.

Clarification: The location of Webster Dental Group is Greenburgh, with a Scarsdale postal address. The original version of the story stated Scarsdale proper.

you showed me the way, truly. :) xoxo

From: Gordon Peters
Date: Sat, Jul 8, 2017 at 10:55 PM
Subject: Re: love you so so much! <3
To: Hippie Lou


<3 <3 <3

The way continues to emerge. And I will report it to you dutifully. :)



On Sat, Jul 8, 2017 at 1:30 PM, Hippie Lou wrote:

you showed me the way, truly. :) xoxo

#humbled #gratitude #respect #wonder

this anomaly of shouldn't try to 'save' him but yet can't stand to leave him suffer became really almost unbearable.

now we get to the difficult part.  i'm just going to jump right in and hope it leads me somewhere right and good.

as golden as the times in the privacy of my home were, the times we were out in the world started to weigh on me.  this is not, I REPEAT, this is not about anything you did wrong.   this is why this part is so difficult.   i am going to try to outline here some realities that started to creep in that came together to shape the way things have developed.

around the time of the chicago road trip, maybe a bit before, and definitely after, it started to be obvious to me that my daily life and all it contains are chock full of stressors, and these are stressors that might not be the greatest things for you to be around on a regular basis.  lots of uncertainty, lots of rushing around, lots of pre-adolescent complaining, lots of last minute changes and seemingly rash decisions, lots of indecision and conflicted wavering, lots of bad parking and unfair transactions and frantic supermarket trips.  these things are part and parcel of my day to day existence.

i mostly don't take it much to heart. (for things i do take to heart, see 'panic attack' in the forthcoming glossary...)   mostly i am in a pretty good mood about all this logistical stuff and bounce along, riding the waves.  as you know i was raised with crisis writ large like a banner across every possible situation, and i threw that shit to the curb as soon as i was able.  i really, truly, don't give a shit if someone passes me on the right and honks, or if the store closes in 2 minutes, or if someone cuts in front of me in line etc etc.

however, i started to see how these things do affect you negatively, how you started consistently remarking about how stressed i am even when i am not feeling it deep down (maybe my overly dramatic personality makes it seem so?), and how the idea of being thrown around in the rock tumbler of my daily life is probably not at all a great idea for you.

then, i started to feel that, on the flipside, the details of your daily existence weren't really a great package for me to carry around, either.   i like to joke a lot about greek grandma, but it's actually really true that i have a great deal of concern for those that i am close to.

i really do respect the choices you've made and your commitment to those choices but the thought of you hungry is enough to make me short circuit.  the image of you looking through a garbage can for food would come to mind while i was preparing dinner and it would literally choke me.  the thought of you sleeping somewhere in the cold or on a train makes my throat tighten up.   so it started to really be a conundrum.

i knew from my many years of psychologically unhealthy care-taking that it was not a good idea to 'take you in'... that 'saving you' by giving you keys and cooking for you every night was not a viable option.    but not doing that means what?  leaving you to look in a garbage can?  i can't.  i mean i really can't.  this anomaly of shouldn't try to 'save' him but yet can't stand to leave him suffer became really almost unbearable.  

the electric one.

I am a blue blood and was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. There is a wing of the Metropolitan Museum of Art donated by a member of my family.

 At the time of this story I was a mild mannered 45-year-old with a wife of twenty years and a daughter finishing high school. I was a square, monogamous, clean-shaven guy with a 4,500 square foot house in Pennsylvania and four cars.

Then I got a contract to work as a consultant at a hospital in New York City. After work I used to wander around the city. I felt like a guest in the world until I wandered into the East Village. Suddenly I realized that this was home.

So I began to sublet places in the neighborhood and would stay there while I was in town on business. I was trying to break out of my childhood of super achievement and this seemed like the place to do it. The bloom was off the rose in my marriage. I felt like I had found my people in the East Village and had started painting my finger nails and toe nails and had pierced my ear. This new side of me scared my wife and we had a traumatic break up.

One day I was looking for a place to work on my laptop and wandered into a bar that had the unusual (for the time) combination of power outlets and free WiFi. I started hanging out there regularly, learning through the music they played, the tequila they drank, the stories they told. This bar and the bartenders who worked there became a family and a home for me as I broke up with my wife. And that’s where I met her.

She was a beautiful bartender in her mid 20s with dirty blonde hair and gorgeous eyes. She was the girl I always wanted to sleep with in high school. She was a cheerleader, a California hippie and a ghetto street hustler from New Orleans. She was a ball player. I wrote my PhD thesis with three Nobel Laureates and they are no match for her. She was a pro and I didn’t know what I was in for, but I sure as hell wanted in.

I sat at the bar during her shifts and slowly fell in love with her. One rainy afternoon she played Electric Ladyland. The entire album. I loved it and sang every song to her. After that day I always called her the Electric Lady. I gave other people at the bar nick names too and it  wasn’t long before they gave me one, Hippie Lou. I started using this nick name and it was like trying on a new persona.

I wanted to take my old self, put it all on a barge and cut the rope. One day Electric Lady invited me to a party. I was new to this world so didn’t fully understand the significance of crossing this line, of seeing a bartender socially.

We met at a bar beforehand and she bought me a drink, then we went to the party together. We left together. And everyone thought we were together.

Electric Lady was a risk taker. I studied evolutionary biology and I believe that women are smarter and more evolved than men. They can sense and smell things. They have the satellite dish and we men have a bent coat hanger. They have bridge building skills, they can barter. The one thing they are perhaps a little short on is the risk taking. They have to take care of the kids so they don’t bet everything on red in Vegas.

But there is a shift happening in the new generation of women and the Electric Lady knew how to take a risk. She was hitting me over the head with a club and was going to take me back to her cave.

When I realized that she wanted to get it on with me I went into turtle mode. I’m a romantic, I’m old fashioned. I was afraid that she was a Siren, in the sense of the Odyssey, and if I slept with her she would sail me into the rocks.  So I didn't close the deal.  In fact, I was so petrified, I didn't even open the deal.

There was no room for fear in Electric Lady's world. She put me in a car service and before the door had even closed she was dialing her boyfriend. She had already moved on. We did this dance for many years. I loved her, she dangled the carrot, I got shy and ran away.

It looked like this: I started dating another girl, got divorced and had to sell everything for spousal support, she broke up with her boyfriend, I broke up with my girlfriend, she got married to someone else, I got locked up in the psych ward, she didn’t visit me, I got angry and was kicked out of the bar, she had a kid, I was diagnosed with manic depression, burned some bridges, had my house foreclosed on, moved out of the city, she moved out of the city, I worked my way back in again, she asked me to visit, I got arrested, we made amends.

We’re still in touch and I’m still in love with her. It’s written in the stars that we will connect. I know it’s going to happen. I think we’re going to get it on and the day it does happen I will probably turn into a light beam and ascend into the galaxy.

Have you ever been to Electric Ladyland?

that hug :) xo

I had this coffee shop bookmarked for a long time and was excited to try it for the first time. This is my first Yelp review, because I've never before felt so strongly about a food place that I felt compelled to review it. This is an unfortunate exception.

The incredibly rude, verbally violent response that the owner, Jaime, gave me and my friend was absolutely uncalled for. We bought coffee and sat down, prepared to drink coffee with some bagels we had brought in from outside to have a nice breakfast. There are no signs that say you cannot eat outside food - we had no idea. But the first thing the owner did without warning was come from behind us, and yell and curse at us angrily. Shaken, we put the bagels back into the bag.

We sat for a while, uncertain what to do, because I get really shaky and light-headed when I drink coffee without food. After sipping some more of our coffee drinks, we tentatively pulled the bagels out of the bag again and put them in front of us. We didn't start eating them, still feeling uneasy about that previous yelling, but didn't know what to do because we still had all this coffee to finish that we couldn't take with us (because they were in nice glass cups) to eat our food outside of the shop. [We were certainly not trying to be bad customers - I even brought my laptop with the intention of doing work, but seeing that no laptops were allowed, I scratched that plan.]

Immediately, the owner stormed over, grabbed both our coffee drinks from our table, spilling them on the table and splashing us with drops of latte, and dumped them at the counter. He was screaming at us, "GET OUT. Never show your faces here again. I know your faces. You're banned from here forever." (not that we ever would come back, so that was quite a useless display of power). Then he threw $7 at us, threw my friend's bagel outside, and left. His staff then told us again that we needed to leave, with no apology, as if this kind of behavior is acceptable.

In short, if we were white men, instead of Asian women, this likely would have not occurred. The verbal violence that the owner Jaime displayed towards us could undoubtedly have escalated to physical violence, and left both of us shaken.